1 - Indecision is the key to flexibility.

2 - You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

3 - There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

4 - Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

5 - Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

6 - Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

7 - The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

8 - The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

9 - Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

10 - Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.

11 - Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

12 - Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

13 - Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

14 - I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

15 - Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

16 - All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

17 - If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

18 - One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

19 - By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

20 - Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

21 - The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

22 - There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

23 - This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.

24 - Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

25 - The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.