Polish your car with earwax.

Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.

Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.

Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.

Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages. Refresh yourself, put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.

Relax by mentally reflecting on your favourite episode of

The Flinstones during that important finance meeting.

Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in the wrapper.

Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.

Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.

Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.

Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.

Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.

Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.

Tell you boss to "blow it out your mule" and let him figure it out.

Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill and vice-versa.

When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.

Write a short story using alphabet soup.