1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog,
you add one minuteto your life. This enables you, at
age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $5,000 per month.

2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she
was 60. She is now 70 and we don't know where she is.

3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I
could hear heavy breathing again.

4. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain
figures out what I am doing.

6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our
toes, he would have put them further up our body.

7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by
people who annoy me.

8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers
them.

9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die
healthier.

10. If you are going to try cross country skiing, start with
a small country.

11. And last, but not least, I don't jog - it makes the ice
jump right out of my glass.