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- Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because
the house was spotless.
- Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
- Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers.
- What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
- So many men-so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
- If they put a man on the moon-they should be able to put them
all there.
- Tell him you're not his type-you have a pulse.
- Never let your man's mind wander-it's too little to be let
out alone.
- The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't
dance or buy drinks.
- Never sleep with a man who's named his penis.
- Go for younger men. You might as well-they never mature anyway.
- A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump
is unquestionably gay.
- Men are all the same-they just have different faces so you
can tell them apart.
- Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity
to make some woman miserable.
- Women don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself
types.
- The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they
are too old for it.
- Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.
- If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him
checkbooks.
- A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, 'oh all right,
I'll stay the night."
- Women sleep with men, who if they were women, they wouldn't
even have bothered to have lunch with.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes,
it means you laugh at his.
- If he asks you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just
practicing.
- Sadly, all men are created equal.
- When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be,
you look familiar."
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