LESSONS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

My Mother taught me LOGIC...

If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me.

--

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...

If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way.

--

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...

If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!

--

My Mother taught me ESP...

Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?

--

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...

What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!

--

My Mother taught me HUMOR...

When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.

--

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...

If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

--

My mother taught me about SEX...

How do you think you got here?

--

My mother taught me about GENETICS...

You are just like your father!

--

My mother taught me about my ROOTS...

Do you think you were born in a barn?

--

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...

When you get to be my age, you will understand.

--

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

Just wait until your father gets home.

--

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...

You are going to get it when we get home.

--

My mother taught me JUSTICE...

one day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU...then you'll see what it's like.