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You know all those lists showing how Women are better than
Men?
Well, the time has come to Men to Fight Back with their own list.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to
pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able
to support you.
__________
Why
do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
__________
How do you fix
a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the stove.
__________
If your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog... he shuts up after you let him in.
__________
All
wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them
apart.
__________
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
__________
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like
to interrupt her.
__________
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.
__________
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%... Wedding cake.
__________
The
last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,
"Dust."
__________
In the beginning, God
created earth and rested. Then God created man and
rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither
God nor man has
rested!
__________
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
troopers
and a dog.
__________
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
__________
What is the difference
between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
__________
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
__________
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad:
That happens in every country, son.
__________
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next
day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
__________
The most
effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
__________
First guy (proudly): "My wife's
an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
__________
How do most men define marriage?
An
expensive way to get laundry done for free.
__________
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking
they had no faults at all.
__________
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention
to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
__________
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until
I got married; and then it was too late."
__________
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get
married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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